When we were expecting Baby R we had many discussions about the future like how will we cope with all the changes baby will bring in our lives or if we will let our child have screen time or whether we will be strict parents or completely laid back.
There were plenty things we disagreed upon like who will change the diapers and quite a few where we came to a mutual decision like the name we chose for her. But one thing we were both clear from the very beginning –
we will not be the Typical Indian Parents that say these things to their kids most of which we ourselves had been subjected to in our childhood
1. Paise pedh pe nahi ugate
whenever you made some demand for new toys or clothes. This sentence created massive confusion for me personally when I was little because I was always left wondering why did we have the money plant at home!?
2. Tod do sab tod do! Sarra ghar todh do!!
If you were to break something accidentally
3. Dono ek ek danda leke ek doosre ka sir phod do
Mom’s answer to each and every sibling war
4. Ek baat 1000 baar bolni padhti hai
If you did not do what mum said within exactly 30seconds of it being said.
5. Humare zamane mein…
Everything our generation did , the older generation had done it better. This was used mostly in two contexts.
1st- the songs they made .. kya gane bante they followed by the parent humming an obscure song.
2nd – to describe how mehnati they were at our age cos we were lazy af and got everything easy.
6.Logon ko do waqt ki roti nahi milti aur tum khana waste karte ho
As if we would miraculously solve world hunger problem by eating lauki/gunda/ tori.
7. Xyz(your best friend’s name) kuen mein koodegi toh tum bhi kood jaaogi?
If you were to casually give your friend’s example or worse still – friend’s mum’s example.
8. La idhar de humne bhi unke baccho ko 100 -100 Rs diye hain
If you ever received money from relatives.
9. Sharma uncle ki bete/ beti ke kitne ache number ate hain…
Ye sharma.uncle ke baccho ke marks kaise pata chalte hain Indian parents ko is still a mystery to me
10. The silly superstitions all Indian kids were subjected to –
– Chai piyoge to kaale ho jaoge
– Itna TV dekhega to chashma lag jayega
– apne bhai/behen ke upar se mat ja warna uski height nhi badegi
11. The empty threats given to all kids to make them listen to their Parents
– Aj aane do papa ko
– Issi chimte/belan/chappal(or whatever was close to hand) se utha ke marungi
– Room saaf nahi kiya to saara saaman balcony se bahar phenk dungi
12. Ye baal kaise bana rakhe hain..lagta hai ki jaise koi ma baap hi nahi hain iske
I still fail to understand the relation between the two
13. Tum Maa-Baap banoge tab samjhoge.
Oh crap! This one is so true. Mummy.. aa gaya samajh!
I haven’t said any of them to my daughter yet but then again she is too little and parenting has taught me Never to say Never.
Have you used any on your kids? Which one was a favorite from your childhood? Did I miss any?
Please tell me all. I would love to hear from you.