As the husbandman sets off for sail again leaving me as the sole caretaker of our 2 year old, I find myself oddly not dreading the times ahead. You see both me and tot are now used to this routine of ours which may seem strange to you. Husbandman’s job requires him to be away at sea for 3-4 months at a stretch and then he is back home on vacation for same amount of time.
I remember the time when we were blissfully married sans kid and I would mark the days off the calendar wondering how I would make it until he got home from sailing. But now that we have a tiny human in the mix , I find myself oddly enjoying these periods alone with her minus her Daddy dearest.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love my husband to bits. He is without a doubt the best father and the most supportive husband. And if you ask me how difficult it is to raise a two year old alone I would probably need two days for my rant and I would just be getting warmed up.
But I want this blog post to be a positive ray of sunshine and so I present to my –
PIC (Parent In Charge) Perk List
We do things my way! I am the one and only parent in charge and as any good despot will tell you, it’s much easier to rule when you don’t have to compromise. Yup, I’m that despot and the home is my kingdom.
Brinner. That’s breakfast for dinner. So I cook only once a day in the morning and we have the same thing for all three meals. Less hassle and no one is complaining! It’s usually a gravy and a side of veggies to be had with rice in the afternoons and with chapattis in the evening. As opposed to cooking three meals a day when Husbandman is home. I don’t mind it either because he appreciates my cooking but who doesn’t look forward to a whole day of Not cooking… Me!
All weekdays are School days. The kiddo would cry while being woken up and Daddy’s heart would melt and I would have two pairs of puppy dog eyes begging for no school day one more time! Now that Daddy is away, Baby has learnt that this trick won’t work on me and we are off to school everyday without a peep. It helps because school days mean a routine for her and I know in advance how my day is planned ahead.
Speaking of routines. I thrive on them. If you ask me what my plan is for June. I would rattle it off day wise without a blink. Can’t say the same when Dad is in town because then who knows when will up and go for a trip or whatever he might fancy. Because husbandman treats our days at home as you would your Sundays. Routines be damned. I like the spontaneity too but my OCD tends to flare up with the thought of not knowing .
But most importantly, parenting is so much more relaxing when the only person you have to listen to is yourself. Nothing makes life more difficult than other people’s standards and high expectations. When I’m on my own I’m able to embrace my weaknesses as a parent and a homemaker. Do you wish to watch that Paw Patrol episode for 5 more minutes while Mama has her cup of tea in peace? Sure, go ahead! Is that a week’s worth of laundry to be folded? What? Where? Is that last week’s grocery shopping still lying on the dining table? Who knows? Who Cares!
Not only do I tend to wrap myself in a blanket made of poor choices but I have a muffler knit of lethargy for days when I am parenting alone. Do I feel bad about watching not one but two Netflix movies back to back at night without a care of the No Mobiles in bed rule that I made? Absolutely Not! Its another thing that I will function like a zombie the whole of next day and vow never to repeat it again.
- Speaking of which the TV remote is mine too! Clicking away from my favourite Rom-Com to check the score of some football game? Not happening. Koffee with Karan marathon? Bring it on after I put the baby to bed, on time!
- In his absence I also have to take over all the roles which are traditionally reserved for the male of the house. I love that he trusts me enough to make 90% of the decisions regarding our family especially those pertaining to our finances. Besides the normal meal planning, meal making, grocery shopping, school events, birthday parties, housekeeping, nose-cleaning, poopy bottom wiping duties I find myself also taking the car to be serviced, calling and handling all repairmen and lately meeting with the architect.. you get the gist because the list is endless. But I love it! I love being the boss of our home and I love that my husband appreciates all the effort I put in.
- I make time for my girlfriends or even the little one’s playdates. Now the husbandman is ever encouraging but just the inherent guilt of having such little time with him is so strong that I try to keep all such plans to the minimal and step out only if absolutely necessary.
- No shaving. Of Anything. Enough said!
But the most important perk of all, that it needs a new bullet altogether
- Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The welcome home is the MOST FUN part of being away.
And no matter how much I enjoy this solo parenting gig, I will never mentally stop crossing the dates off the calendar waiting for him to be back.
I wish to thank Aditi Ranade for introducing me. Aditi is a new mother who is looking at motherhood with a fresh pair of eyes. You can read her blog here.
I would like to introduce Jameela. I’m sure you will enjoy reading her take on the prompt. Visit her blog here.